I’ve struggled with being happy for almost as long as I can remember. To me, happiness was always fleeting, never lasting. I’d be happy one minute, but pretty soon it was gone with no sign of returning. I was always looking for things that would bring lasting joy to me… looking and failing. I thought that when I graduated high school I’d be happy, when I found a job, when I found a better job, when I was in a new area, when I was older, when I had more money, when I had this, when I was that, and pretty soon months, even years had passed and I still hadn’t found anything that had given me a lasting happiness. Not that I was always down right miserable, I was just… existing, emotionless. My mom always tells me that you have to choose to be happy. Every. Darn. Day. So that is what I’m trying to be. It’s slowly working. It’s not like a light switch, it can’t be just turned on. I’m still pretty ‘nothing’ most days, but I am trying to choose to be happy, who knew it was such a hard thing. This is something that I’m going to try to work on everyday. I believe it’ll get a little easier, like most things, with practice. I know it’ll all be worth it in the long run & I’ll look back and my sad/stuck/emotionless days will be a faint memory.

Sorry I’ve been so nonexistent these past few weeks, I’ve been so busy & uninspired lately.


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